Saying no to say yes

Also known as “The Year of No.”

Slightly more negative, but it sums it up pretty well.

I want to be superwoman. I want to be able to do it all – be a wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, employee, etc.  I want to be good at all of the roles I play.  I have tried to be superwoman and do it all.  I really have.  But it didn’t work so well.  I’m a perfectionist and want to be good – no, great – at everything I do.  If I take something on I want to do it really, really well.  I don’t want to be mediocre or just okay … and failing is not an option.

But a few months ago I was just okay.  Actually, less than okay in some areas of my life.  In my quest to be superwoman – to do everything – I ended up doing nothing well.  And that bothered me.  Really bothered me.

I wasn’t being a good wife.  I don’t feel like I was being a good mom (Nora can’t complain much yet, but still …), I wasn’t being the greatest friend and I was not living up to some of the commitments I had made.

I was stretched too thin.

And I came to a startling – and humbling – realization: I’m not superwoman.  I can’t do it all.

So after some thought and much prayer, I said no to some things.  Some things I really wanted to do, some really good things that I was excited to be a part of.

But sometimes, we have to give up the good to be the best.

And that’s just what I’ve done.  This year is the year of no.  The year of saying no to things so that I can say yes to the most important things – God, Patrick, Nora, my family, my friends and my job.

The things that mean the most are going to get the most of my attention, as they should.  That may mean that the house doesn’t get cleaned as often as I’d like (but I must say that Patrick has taken on my least favorite chores – whatta man!), I’m not blogging as much as I want to, I’m not helping out at church as often as I could, and I’m saying no more than before, but my focus is where it needs to be.

So maybe instead of calling 2011 “The Year of No,” I should call it “The Year of Yes.”

Yes to what matters most.

Matt. 5:37: All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No;’ anything beyond this comes from the evil one.

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8 Responses to Saying no to say yes

  1. Rebecca Ricker says:

    Nicely said girl! Bravo!

  2. Patrick says:

    You are wonderful, I will always say yes to you :)

  3. Rebecca Ricker says:

    Oh, and by the way, I don’t agree with the not being a good friend thing :) You have been SUPER encouraging to me!

  4. Rachael Lee says:

    Girl friend…A good, Godly word for us all. Thank you for sharing that saying no actually helps us to say yes!

  5. Whitney says:

    must admit that I was on the brink of tears the entire time i was reading and then Patrick’s comment got me.
    so well said kara…a little nugget that I am going to try and remember too. thanks for the encouragement my friend!!

  6. I. Like. This. Post.

    Challenged by a mentor, I’m currently working on my very own “to-don’t list. Sadly, a few things that I’m currently doing need to be marked off my to-do list and added to my to-don’t list. :(

  7. Brooke Davis says:

    Very well said Kara- I like this post & I suck at saying NO- it’s so stinkin’ hard to say no! I need to print this out so I can read it every day!

  8. April Norman says:

    This has been a challenge of mine as well. I’m learning to slow down and put my focus where it needs to be, and that can be difficult. We are blessed to be where we are. Thanks for sharing this. Good for you Kara!

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